REFLECTIONS ON MY INDIAN TANTRA EXPERIENCE
December 2007

I have just completed an unforgettable pilgrimage of Tantra temples in Tamil Nadu, South India lead by Tantric Master Shri Param Eswaran, of the IFC Mahavidya Temple. It has been a valuable gift to me, to experience traditional Indian Tantra. Much of my perception of woman, the Goddess & Tantra have been rearranged forever.

I’m known in Melbourne, Australia for my private practice in Spiritual Sexuality Education, based on my training in Taoist & Tantric arts. I came to this field from a background of traditional Tantric meditation, yoga, bodywork & women’s mysteries. Personal experiences of the direct connection of sexuality and spirituality guided me to explore what would eventually become a unique form of healing. I’m the kind of western woman who has been involved with various spiritual groups from a young age. Like many others, I’ve explored what’s available in the West to find meaning and direct communion with the Divine. I’ve studied everything from subtle healing therapies to the most confronting and revealing Sacred Sexuality practices, New Age Tantra & everything in between!

Rather than condemning New Age Spirituality, I perceive it as a natural byproduct of globalization. However, many Eastern teachers agree that the Western psyche is in the stage of infancy, or adolescence at best. So the tendency for us to reach only for the pleasurable sweets on the spiritual smorgasbord is a common experience. The vegetables that may not taste so good at first, are of course like the spiritual food that gives us substance and growth. This is especially evident in New Age Tantra, where seekers want the pleasurable delights of Shakti, well before the consciousness of Shiva has been developed. This is what’s known as a significant danger on the Tantric path, and with good reason. A kind of burnout from willful and misaligned Kundalini experiences, unfulfillment and believing oneself to be an authentic practitioner while supporting ego, are some of the dangers. Without emptying oneself of the mental dross accumulated over generations, how can the most powerful energy a human being has (Kundalini Shakti) be held with reverence or be used wisely?

Impatience to overcome our repressive conditioning can be the motivation to do whatever it takes, but this usually works only to a point. Pretty soon we need to find more substance from the traditional roots our new age spiritual systems are based on. And I must say, the refreshing lack of dramatic emotional catharsis in traditional Tantra has been a welcome change. (Overly-indulgent emotional ‘healing’ is everywhere in the West). Dissolving past in the subtle intensity of deep and constant practice, seems to me a much more refined way to grow.

Mantra and meditation are the foundation practices in traditional Tantra. And today, the de-programming to prepare for real spirituality that true teachers like Shri Param are able to provide, is a necessity. Although I have maintained a lifelong spiritual direction, I’ve seen how our conditioning as women runs in deep and subtle ways. Even much of the New Age Goddess Spirituality concepts are 180 degrees away from true spiritual authenticity for women. For many years, I have looked to the Goddess in all her forms for spiritual nourishment. However, after this experience of Goddess Worship with Shri Param, I will no longer be using the term ‘goddess’ so freely. He has helped widen my perspective of what it takes for a woman to actually be worthy of being called a goddess, removing my unnecessary romanticism. I will go home happy to continue my healing practice with renewed clarity, while encouraging my innate soul wisdom to flourish.

To be honest, it took time for me to feel comfortable with Shri Param’s unique teaching style. Sometimes I felt shocked by the part of me that had become accustomed to the ‘love & light’ culture of communication in the New Age. His traditional teaching style offers a realness that is rarely found, and we need it! The insanity from the mental pollution I/we were born into, has become increasingly obvious to me in ways I can no longer ignore. Shri Param is a very loving and generous teacher, who is genuine in his capacity to facilitate real spiritual growth. I feel I’ve found an authentic priestess training that can support my growth as a woman and a teacher. It is a privilege to be welcomed into his family home and to witness his daughter being raised with such love & freedom, which has been very inspiring and educational for me.

It is no wonder this form of Tantra isn’t big business in the West! The road to actual liberation (starving negative ego) can be far from entertaining or exciting. It is with divine humor that I say, anyone who is over-enthusiastic about self-realization is kidding themselves. The practice of having light shed on ego can be the most excruciating, undesirable & horrendously painful experience ever! (Although the level of discomfort directly relates to our level of attachment).

So if you are a woman or a man, and you are attracted to the growing field of spiritual/sexual healing – consider learning with a traditional teacher like Shri Param Eswaran. With the unleashing of the ‘Sacred Prostitute’ archetype into mainstream spirituality, there are many distortions to purify before being able to grasp what it really means to be a ‘Temple Goddess’ or ‘Tantric Priestess’. There are a number of sexuality trainings available, and having experienced many of them, their fundamental purpose isn’t as clear as it could be. Love. Love and consciousness need to be the central focus for any sexual practice. It may seem strange to have female teachings revealed by a male teacher, however the gift of the Divine Masculine is to simplify, make sure Shakti is nurtured and not dissipating her energy.

As women, we already have everything we need and everything we are looking for. Yoni IS the source of all creation. What we DO need is a clear environment for our Shakti to flower, away from concepts that continue to interfere with real growth. I intend to allow myself to flower with authentic love (which is often not what it seems), feminine grace, healthy sexual purity and real inner beauty. Shri Param’s support and guidance has offered me that clear space to learn how to hold myself more fully as a woman of sovereignty. I look forward to returning home to my life and to my practice with a deeper personal practice, which will greatly enhance my capacity as a healing guide for others and the very real potential of becoming a living goddess.

Devashi
'Healing Love Studio', Melb.
 

 
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